Masking: Understanding what it is and how to spot it

What is masking? 

Masking is a strategy used by some Autistic people that refers to when individuals consciously or unconsciously utilize or mimic neurotypical behaviors that society has stigmatized to fit in or participate in social situations. It may involve suppressing how an Autistic individual may express themselves (e.g., their needs, preferences, interests, mannerisms/behaviors). Masking can be mentally and emotionally exhausting for Autistic individuals, leading to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from their true selves. 

Why does a person mask? 

Autistic individuals often mask their traits for several reasons, including societal pressure to conform, fear of rejection or bullying, or a desire to fit in and make social connections. They often do this to bridge the gap in social communication differences between themselves and neurotypical individuals.  

Related Reading: Building Friendships 

How does masking present? 

It’s not always easy to spot masking behaviors, especially to those who are not familiar with Autism. Some Autistic individuals become adept at it, making it difficult for others to recognize their struggles. However, both Autistic individuals and their support networks need to be aware of the behaviors and their potential consequences. Examples of masking may include but are not limited to: 

• Utilizing facial expressions learned by observing others that otherwise wouldn’t come naturally to you 
• Suppressing self-regulating strategies (e.g., stimming, flapping, echolalia) 
• Reducing reactions to sensitivities and triggers (e.g., sensory sensitivities such as touch, loud noises, large groups, novel places) 
• Forcing yourself to conform to neurotypical social norms such as using a specific tone of voice, making eye contact 
• Not sharing preferred interests or passions due to fear of being “weird” or “strange” 

What are the challenges? 

Masking can be incredibly taxing on Autistic individuals. It requires constant monitoring of one’s behavior, suppressing natural impulses and tendencies, and often leads to a sense of identity confusion and exhaustion, with prolonged masking exacerbating stress and anxiety. 

Talking to Your Child About Masking 

Talking to your Autistic child about masking behaviors can be a sensitive and important conversation. Here are some steps you can take to approach this topic effectively: 

• Explain What Masking Is: sometimes children may unconsciously utilize masking behaviors, meaning that they are unaware that they are hiding their Autistic identity. You can describe masking as a way of hiding or suppressing certain behaviors or traits to fit in or avoid negative reactions from others. Emphasize that masking is a common experience for many Autistic individuals.  
• Emphasize Self-Acceptance: remind your child that it is important to be true to themselves. Emphasize the importance of self-advocacy, positive self-talk, and self-love. Encourage them to embrace their unique strengths and interests. 
• Encourage Connection: discuss engaging in group-based activities with individuals who share a positive identity of their divergent communication. Emphasize the importance of surrounding themselves with individuals who don’t suppress who they are to conform to societal expectations, or to appear “non-Autistic”.  

• Discuss Strategies: engage in an open conversation with your child on strategies they can use to manage masking behaviors and navigate social situations more comfortably. This might include: 

• Taking breaks when feeling overwhelmed  
• Self-advocating for their needs and preferences 

• Validate Their Feelings: let your child know that it is ok to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or confused at times, and reassure them that you are there to support them. Validate any concerns they have with unmasking, and let them know they are not alone  

By approaching the topic of masking behaviors with empathy, understanding, and open communication, you can help your child feel supported and empowered to navigate their social world more authentically. 

We hope you find this post helpful. Click HERE for more resources.

Have a question for us or a topic you want to learn more about? Send us a message HERE or leave a comment!