Neurodiversity Affirming Conversation Strategies

As your neurodivergent child gets older, makes new friends, and has new experiences, it is important to discuss neurotypical norms of social communication. Behaviors like maintaining eye contact or engaging in back-and-forth conversational turn taking may not feel natural for everyone, especially members of the neurodivergent population. 

Bridging the Gap in Conversation 

Often, society expects neurodivergent individuals to adjust to its expectations, which can create anxiety and stress surrounding social situations and lead to masking behaviors. Instead, neurotypical people should also learn affirming communication preferences of those in the neurodivergent community. Below are some examples of ways neurodivergent individuals often express themselves to others.  

Info Dumping 

Engaging in “small talk” or back and forth conversation is not for everyone. While you may be used to taking conversational turns with your communication partner, other individuals may prefer info dumping. Info dumping is a communication style in which an individual may share a large amount of information on a specific topic, experience, or idea. This type of communication style is commonly used in the autistic community.  

Unique or Preferred Interests  

You may find that some of your child’s peers focus on preferred interests and topics while engaging in conversation. Sticking to these interests and topics may be a result of: 

• Passion and enjoyment: Many neurodivergent individuals have interests that bring them joy, just like anyone else! Engaging in conversation about these specific topics can be a way to connect with others. You may notice that some people info-dump about their unique interests rather than engaging in small talk. 

• Expression of identity: Unique interests may be a significant part of a neurodivergent individual’s identity, and talking about them can be a way to express who they are. 

Related Reading: Neurodiversity Affirming Ways to Model Language 

Processing Time  

Your child’s conversation partner may need more processing time for a variety of reasons: 

• Sensory Processing: Some individuals have heightened or altered sensory perceptions, which can require additional time to process and integrate sensory input effectively  

• Executive Functioning: planning, organizing, inhibition, and initiation are all important aspects of conversation. Processing information may be more time-consuming for individuals who have vulnerabilities in these areas  

• Social Processing: Understanding social cues can require extra effort and time for some individuals, leading to a need for more processing time within social interactions 

Discussing Communication Preferences 

While we are usually taught to conform to neurotypical norms of making connected comments (e.g., “I like that too!”) or asking wondering questions (e.g., “why did you go there?”), these “traditional” conversation strategies may result in awkward, uncomfortable conversations for some. Asking your conversation partner what their communication preferences are (e.g., info dumping, eye contact preferences, topic preferences, etc.) is an excellent way to allow them to self-advocate for what makes them feel like a valued, active participant in the conversation. 

Related Reading: How Friend Files Can Spark Conversations 

Conclusion  

Learning about communication considerations in the neurodivergent population can help build bridges with those of all abilities and foster lasting relationships. We hope these examples will help facilitate a conversation with your child on how they can best engage in conversation with others while taking their communication preferences into consideration.  

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