Predicting and Preventing Your Child’s Meltdowns

Children with sensory and executive functioning challenges often struggle with daily demands resulting in regular meltdowns. When a child’s nervous system feels taxed, something like putting on their coat can lead to a meltdown. As caregivers, it’s our job to identify why behaviors occur so we can give our children the tools to self-regulate. When we view behavior as an attempt to communicate, we begin to understand our children better and can help predict and prevent future meltdowns. Read on to learn strategies to predict and understand your child’s meltdowns and provide the tools they need to overcome those moments.

The ABC Method to Prevent Meltdowns

When attempting to avoid a meltdown, it’s important to look at the whole picture. The ABC method is a helpful strategy to better understand where behaviors stem from, and how to intercept a meltdown before it occurs.

A is for Antecedent

Oftentimes we can see behaviors brewing before they reach the surface. Start keeping track of what happens right before a meltdown occurs by asking yourself questions like:

• Where were you?
• What was your child doing?
• Was there a specific demand or direction given?
• Were other kids around?

As you start to ask these questions you may notice patterns that will help get to the root cause of your child’s meltdown.

B is for Behavior

Behavior can tell us a lot about why a child is upset. For example, if a child is biting their peers, the action (biting) may indicate a sensory issue- if sensitive to touch, when others brush up against their body, a defensive response is to bite. Think of behavior as a symptom that can help you get to the root cause of your child’s struggles.

C is for Consequence

The word consequence carries a negative tone, but it does not always have to mean something bad. In the ABCs of behavior, consequence is what happens immediately after it occurs. Sometimes it’s a punishment, other times it can be more neutral, and, occasionally, if the behavior is something positive, the consequence can be a good thing.

Navigating Meltdowns When They Occur

Sometimes, you just cannot prevent a meltdown from happening. But how you handle your child’s meltdown can make all the difference in their ability to learn how to regulate their body and feel secure. Below are some tips and reminders of ways you can help your child come down from a meltdown.

Communication is Key

Before, during, and after a behavior or meltdown, be mindful of your verbal & non-verbal communication. Be clear and concise, avoiding tough vocabulary words, and remembering to give one direction at a time. Non-verbal communication like body language, posture, tone, and facial expressions are just as important!

Incorporate Visuals

Minimize or eliminate excessive verbal interactions by incorporating visuals. If getting ready for school is challenging, a visual schedule picturing each step in the routine can be helpful. For children who struggle with new situations or activities, showing them a picture or video can help alleviate anxiety and decrease the likelihood of a meltdown on the way there. Incorporating auditory and/or visual timers can prove tremendously helpful to kids who struggle with transitions and time management.

Give Your Child Choices

For most kids, most moments of their day are planned out for them- what to wear, what to eat for lunch, what to do on the weekends, etc. In some cases, this lack of control can lead to a child feeling frustrated and create a power struggle. When appropriate, giving your child choices can make a dramatic difference in their behavior. If mealtime is a constant problem, allowing your child to choose between two meals (or even sides) will help minimize battles. Giving your child the power to pick an outfit from two or three options may help them feel more comfortable over the day. Bear in mind when giving choices to always provide options that you are okay with and not overwhelm the child with too many choices at once; sticking to two or three options is best.

Redirect Behavior

While it won’t help you discover the root of the behavior or prevent it from happening again, distraction can be a powerful tool during a meltdown. Try redirecting your child to another task, location, or activity. Be playful or silly and incorporate humor- making a foolish joke can sometimes be all that the child needs to snap out of the moment and release some tension. Just be mindful that this is a temporary tool and will not work every time.

Learning to predict and manage behavior is an ongoing process. Remember that progress takes time. Be patient, stay calm, and always remember to isolate the incident. Although it is easier said than done, do your best not to take any behavior personally. Most importantly, remind yourself that even the best behavior detective can’t avoid every meltdown.

We hope you find this post helpful. Click HERE for more resources.

Have a question for us or a topic you want to learn more about? Send us a message HERE or leave a comment!